kids

Welcome to Out of the Ash Kids!

                                      

                  Let's Talk About Out of the Ash Kids, and the WHYS

Out of the Ash Kids was born out of a conversation with my daughter (Ashley-see what I did there?)  I was predominantly speaking with women who were either in a situation or coming out of one with an organization call See the Light Be the Light.  My goal was to at least mentor, and to have speaking engagements.  I would attend events with a table and literature.  That went wonderfully, UNTIL. 

 

I listened to a recording of a child calling the police because the Mother was in crisis at that moment.  It was heart wrenching.  It kind of broke me a little and reminded me I had children who heard the same type of thing in their home.  Now please keep in mind I know they heard, and saw.  But something in that recording shined a light.  I was living with my daughter at that time, and raced downstairs in tears to apologize for having to had seen and heard that.  It was not the first apology and certainly not the last I am sure.  

Her reaction was not what I expected.  My daughter is very matter of fact, frank and brutally honest.  She simply said, although I appreciate the apology and feel it is genuine, those tears are not for me.  They are for you, and the guilt, shame, etc.  I looked at her like, well dang.  I just came down here, blah blah blah.  That is not to devalue my apology, but after I left I did some soul searching.  She was right.  In my mind, I was the victim, and by proxy they were too, but mine was more somehow.  I felt like I had shielded them to some extent.  Which of course is never the case.  They heard, and they knew.  I do feel like that was a turning point for her an  I, to a degree.  We loved, but she was still angry, maybe resentful is a better word for the childhood she lost, for the things she missed out on, and for having to basically raise her brother and take care of me to an extent.  It was unfair for her to have to deal with that most of her young life.  It was  unfair that she didn't have a mother who didn't help her like she needed.  I thought that if I could just get away and start life anew all would be perfect.  

Yeah it doesn't work like that.

Any way.... we were talking one day and she said Mom you need to change your organization.  You keep talking about the kids.  While we were in the shelters, not once did staff asked how me and my brother were.  It was always how is your mother, as if the mother is good, so shall the kids be.  

Yeah it doesn't work like that.

So we started brainstorming, and I said how about we call it out of the dark as it was similar to See the Light Be the Light.  She didn't care for it, sooo I slept on it, and then came up with Out of the Ash Kids.  It came from her, so give her the kudos for the idea.  

Click the Link to find out what our goals and aspirations are!

Goals and Aspirations

Feel free to contact us with any ideas, questions and concerns!   

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SUPPORT THE CHILDREN

​Children of domestic violence 

FACTS

*About 10 million kids of all ages witness violence between their parents
or caregivers each year

*US Department of Justice defines domestic violence as "a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner."

*Domestic violence can be verbal, physical, sexual, or psychological. Domestic violence can occur between heterosexual or same sex couples.

*Children may develop serious emotional and behavioral problems.

*Sometimes children get hurt accidentally.

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